It’s the start of a new year and you might be feeling the pressure of making resolutions that you know you won’t keep. Only 9% of Americans follow through with them so you’re in good company. This year try something different. Leadership and life coach Barbara Churchill is here to help us set goals in a brand new way.
Resolutions never feel good, have you noticed that? They were always about “shoulds” – I should exercise more, I should lose weight, I should drink less caffeine, I should work less.
Nowhere in typical new year’s resolutions or goals for that matter is there any mention of your desires. This exercise is designed to open your mind to your desires, to awaken you to the awareness that there really are possibilities for your life – and that you can actually create your world exactly the way you want it to be.
Here are the steps to the Be Do Have exercise:
- Set aside time when you won’t be interrupted. Sit quietly for a few minutes to relax. Grab a journal or notebook and write the word BE at the top of a page. Skip a few pages then write DO at the top of that page, skip a few pages and write HAVE on that page.
- Next – answer these questions:
Who or what do you want to BE?
This includes – how you feel each day, your purpose or mission, how you show up in life, your strongest traits, the kind of parent you are, the kind of partner you are, etc. If there are traits that you already love about you, include those as well. And when you’re writing those down remember to say out loud, “I love that about me.”
Write them as “I am” statements. For example: I am encouraging. I am confident. I know exactly who I am. I am wealthy. Now this one is not the same as saying you’re rich. Wealth encompasses so much more than just money. The more detailed you can get, the better. Don’t forget to write what it feels like.
What do you want to DO?
This includes travel, working in the world, learning a language, projects to create, marriage or partnership, kids, playing the piano, etc. Write these in descriptive sentences or as a list. Really let yourself explore the options. Don’t limit yourself in any way! Your brain is going to want to do that. Your brain, your Derailers™ are going to jump in and try to rain on your parade with all kinds of reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t. Don’t let them. This is about your desires and there’s no right or wrong when it comes to desires.
What do you want to HAVE?
This can be anything from a house on the beach, to free time, to a yoga studio, to an amazing wardrobe, to a villa in Italy. Let yourself dream BIG here. Lots of people get a little freaked out and feel greedy if they admit to wanting something they’ve been told is extravagant – like an expensive car. It doesn’t feel “noble”. But just open up to those “have” desires. Knowing what they are can guide you to the places where you resist or block your own success.
It’s a fun and enlightening exercise and you can certainly do it with a friend. But be picky about who you share your dreams with. You want someone who will cheer you on.
Allow yourself to dream as if you couldn’t fail. Cheers to a wonderful 2024!
Find out more information on Barbara’s podcast, Your Next Phase.