‘There is hope and there is help’: Widow urges everyone to talk about suicide, especially now

Mental health advocates are concerned we are in a perfect storm of stressors right now. The days are short and nights are long. The holidays make some people feel sad and there’s the isolation and financial stress caused by the pandemic.

It can add up and that’s why 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS is reporting on suicide.

Experts want us all to talk more about suicide and a recently widowed young mother has an important message for anyone experiencing a mental health crisis: there is hope and there is help.

Jason Fugate took his life the Monday after Thanksgiving. He leaves behind his wife Kelli and three kids.

"Everything hit us all at once and he couldn’t take it anymore," said Kelli. "So he decided he’d find his own way."

Jason made news in the summer of 2019. He was the fisherman with the mystery illness who caught a giant orange mystery fish in the Brainerd Lakes Area.

VIDEO: Watch as fisherman describes what it was like to catch mystery fish

"He couldn’t provide; in his eyes. So for the kids he felt like he was letting them down. He was letting me down" said Kelli. "He wanted me to be happy and that’s what he always wanted and he thought that he couldn’t do that. But I don’t see how this is better."

Jason got answers about the fish. Biologists determined it was a more than 100 years old Bigmouth Buffalo Fish. Its orange color is the result of a rare genetic mutation.

But Jason never got answers about his illness; Malabsorption Syndrome. His body stopped digesting nutrients. He lost weight and his energy. He was so sick he couldn’t work and they lost their house.

Kelli said one thing that bothered Jason most in all his battles was not being able to help provide for his family. Friends have created a GoFundMe account to ease the burden and help the family get through this difficult time.

Now Kelli wants to start a conversation about suicide. "I want other people to know that they need to reach out. I found most of his friends didn’t know how bad it was."

"Kelli, in the way that she is talking about this story is showing tremendous courage and bravery to be an advocate for mental health" said Liz Kittleson, Clinic Manager and Therapist at Wild Tree Psychotherapy. "By her sharing this story she’s helping so many people who maybe are afraid to get help or not sure how to help family members or not sure what to do."

According to Kittleson, there is a real concern for mental health needs right now. "We’re in a bit of a trifecta of concerns," she said. "So the first thing is seasonal depression. We live in a climate and it’s cold and it’s winter and it’s dark and that impacts our mood as well. As well as life right? We continue to have life happening. We’ve got financial concerns, work concerns, health concerns happening. And then we add on this pandemic. We’re 9 months in with social isolation, fears and concerns as far as health and safety. It’s kind of a trifecta right now of everyone feeling really impacted."

Kittleson agrees we need to talk about suicide.

"I think the thing is when we don’t talk about it, it creates a stigma around getting help or that we’re a failure in some ways; that we aren’t able to take care of it on our own," said Kittleson. "And when we do talk about it creates this normalization that everyone’s going through a really hard time and we need support. We can’t do this alone. It’s not working to do it alone."

She adds it’s important to acknowledge you’re not feeling right and recognize your own warning signs. "What are our own ways to say, this isn’t how I want to be feeling? This isn’t how I want to be going through my day. We want to make sure we’re checking in with ourselves regularly. Is this how I’m feeling? What’s going on? And then what do I need? And then take an inventory of what support can I look into? Is it reaching out for help from family and friends or is it getting professional support right now as I navigate whatever I’m going through."

Minnesota man catches a mystery fish; Rare for its color, remarkable for its age

And never be embarrassed to reach out for support. "Especially right now at this time," said Kittleson. "To get support is really awesome because then we can talk about it, we can figure out and brainstorm solutions and there’s many, many people available to give you the support you need."

"If you don’t tell anybody, nobody knows what you’re going through. If you keep it to yourself nobody understands it" said Kelli. "Where if he had reached out maybe he could have got the support, that reassurance that he wasn’t a failure, he wasn’t a bad dad and I think he needed that at the time."

"By her (Kelli) sharing this story she’s helping so many people who maybe are afraid to get help or not sure how to help family members or not sure what to do," said Kittleson. "If you are in crisis Minnesota has some really wonderful available crisis lines. We’ve got the national crisis line, but we also have crisis lines through the county. We even have, which is pretty cool, a Minnesota farm and rural helpline for those that are maybe in the rural areas to get that support. The other thing we can do, if we plan to use insurance, is we can call our insurance companies to find out what clinics are available, who is available to us in that outpatient setting. There’s tons of availability in terms of support right now, because as therapists we get it, it’s a really hard time."

Jason Fugate’s legacy will not be catching a big orange fish. Kelli hopes it will be saving lives.

"I want some awareness to what people go through," she said. "Especially with this year; this year has been horrible for a lot of people and a lot of things pile up. But you have to be able to look past them to know there will be a light eventually."

Please reach out to the people in your life you are concerned about. Hearing from you can make all the difference. There is hope and there is help.

If you are in a crisis right now please call the National Suicide Prevention Life Line at: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

The Ramsey County Crisis Line is: 1-651-266-7900.

Hennepin County’s Crisis line for adults is: 1-612-596-1223. The Crisis Line for children it is: 1-612-348-2233.

If you can’t talk on the phone, reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting: "MN" to 741741 (standard data and text rates apply)

The Minnesota Farm and Rural Helpline is: 833-600-2670

Wild Tree Psychotherapy provides services for adults, children, couples, families, and groups.

NAMI Minnesota (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the lives of children and adults with mental illnesses and their families.

You can also get FREE mental health counseling in Hennepin County and Ramsey County.

If you would like help identifying the right resource for you, call the United Way at 211 from a landline or from a cell phone, call 651-291-0211.

Here is a list of Mobile Crisis Mental Health Services offered all over Minnesota.