Project Child support group multiplies, giving expecting mothers ‘second chance at being a mom’
Tara Weidenbach holds her 8-week-old daughter tight.
She’s just a baby, but Weidenbach said gaining custody of little Sofia has been “a battle for the last 14 years.”
Weidenbach is the biological mother of ten children, but she’s the legal guardian of one.
More than a decade ago, her two oldest children were taken away by Child Protective Services because of concerns related to her ex-husband. The loss was painful, and Weidenbach said she began using drugs to cope with it.
“It literally kills you,” she shared. “You become so reliant on being a mother that that’s your identity, and when that is stripped from you, it’s the worst feeling in the world.”
“So, that kind of started the downward spiral, and just, it got pretty bad,” she continued.
Weidenbach said she hit rock bottom 14 years later when her ninth child was removed from her custody.
She got sober at a treatment center, moved from St. Cloud to the Twin Cities for a fresh start, and has been in recovery ever since, maintaining sobriety for the last 2.5 years, she said.
More than a year into her recovery journey, Weidenbach found out Sofia was on the way, but her sobriety didn’t guarantee she’d keep custody of her daughter at birth, she said.
The fear of losing Sofia to CPS custody brought her to Project Child. The voluntary Hennepin County program in its partnership with the Minnesota Prevention & Recovery Alliance (MnPRA) is aimed at supporting pregnant women who suffer from substance use disorder.
Through the program, MnPRA peer recovery specialists host a regular support group where women who have been in the same shoes help expecting mothers with tools to maintain sobriety and fight what they say can be a grueling court process to keep custody.
“I owe it all to them that I have her,” Weidenbach said, turning her eyes to her daughter, fast asleep in a stroller next to her.
“And that’s what happened. I did. I walked right out of that hospital with her. And then, a month later to the day that she was born, we ended up going to court, and the case got dismissed, so there’s no CPS involvement at all.”
Sarah Bruder is a certified peer recovery specialist with MnPRA, helping to lead the support groups. We first met Sarah last year, and she shared her own story of fighting for custody of her youngest son, Roman.
Since that report, MnPRA reports the support group’s regular attendance doubled in size, from about 15 women last year to more than 30 now.
“I think it’s extremely significant and important to not envelope such shame in addiction,” Bruder shared in an updated interview on Tuesday.
“We beat ourselves up enough to where we don’t need society doing that. We need a fresh slate, a clean start. We need to be filled with hope and encouragement, and that’s exactly what I am so blessed to do.”
Dar Swanson was part of the project child support system back when Bruder arrived. She is a certified peer recovery specialist in a supervisory role.
The tide and stigma is starting to shift, Swanson said, pointing to an announcement from Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty this summer that her office will no longer criminally charge people for drug use during pregnancy.
“A lot of these women grew up, you know, in a home that had substance use disorder, and that’s all they know,” Swanson said. “We’re changing those dynamics.”
According to MnPRA, 93% of mothers who completed the Project Child program delivered healthy, substance-free babies in the last five years.
“They’re getting a second chance at being a mom,” Bruder said.
Thinking back to the day she brought Sofia home from the hospital, Weidenbach said it felt “like you’re floating on cloud nine, like your heart…just like, finally, everything’s been lifted off you.”
“Project Child works. It really does,” she said in closing.
Project Child is specifically for pregnant women, but there MnPRA can assist with other resources for women who are hoping to be reunited in some capacity with their older children, Swanson explained.
Bruder is still working through the court system in hopes of gaining regular visitation of her older children, and Weidenbach expressed interest in doing the same.
For a look at a full list of MnPRA partnerships, click here.