Updated: October 16, 2020 09:17 AM
Created: October 15, 2020 03:07 PM
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Thursday was also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Children's Minnesota and Allina Health are teaming up to educate women and their loved ones about how they can make it through the loss.
Sarah Baso had three pregnancy losses. She's sharing her story so other moms know they're not alone.
"My husband and I both process grief differently, and I think going through that journey together made our relationship stronger but was also difficult. We had to figure out how to support each other," she told KSTP.
Baso lives in Minneapolis with her husband and two daughters.
"My first pregnancy loss was before I had kids. It was my first pregnancy, we had tried for almost two years to get pregnant," Baso said.
According to March of Dimes, about 10% to 15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. One to five percent of women experiences a miscarriage in the second trimester. March of Dimes adds about 1% of women have repeat miscarriages, most with an unknown cause, and 65% of those women go on to have a successful pregnancy.
Baso's second and third pregnancy losses happened between her daughters' births.
"They were almost all identical, my miscarriage scenarios, where I went to a second appointment around 10 or 11 weeks, and there was no heartbeat," she said.
Baso said it was hard to talk about it at first.
"Many of our friends and family didn't know what to say and didn't know how to help us... We didn't mind talking about the fact that we had a loss, but we didn't necessarily love questions like, 'When are you going to have more kids,' 'When are you going to try again,'" she said.
Perinatal Psychotherapist Tina Welke with the Mother Baby Center, a collaboration Allina Health and Children's Minnesota, said it's important loved ones lead with empathy.
Welke said, "Loss, specifically perinatal loss, gets very stigmatized."
Welke added it's critical to not judge.
"It's really important just to approach a woman with open-ended questions, just to say, 'What was it like for you?' 'How much did this baby mean to you?' 'Tell me about how this is impacting you.' Sometimes we can just sit with someone and just say, 'I imagine this is so hard and I don't know what to say but I'm here for you.'"
Experts say pregnancy loss doesn't just affect the woman. Check out resources here for those interested.
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