Updated: 12/25/2008 1:31 PM KSTP.com | Print Story
By: Tim Sherno

SHERNO: ...the end of the day? Not so much

The end of the day. The whistle blows.  Bye bye. See 'ya.  All done.

No wait. Not it's not. Oh no it's not. Why not? I'll tell you why. Because there's a wreck on the road between me and home and traffic is going to be a nightmare.  Tonight, I have things to do. Tonight, I have somewhere to be. Some nights I don't, this night I do. And wouldn't you know... tonight's the night.  Words cannot express the feeling... this comes close. 

I grip the wheel. "Ahhh." It's a frustrated "ahh!" kind of feeling. Traffic is so huge and out of anyone's control and nobody can escape it's grip. And the thing about it that I hate the most is that it moves so slowly when I want to move fast. The conflict between wanting to go fast and having to go slow... to creep along... is maddening.   

I used to try to beat it.  Jump from lane to lane, get off the highway take a few backroads, get back on the highway. Usually when I tried that maneuver, I'd get back on the highway just in time to pull right next to the car I was next to before I got exited. It's happened. The driver smiles, waves hello, toots the horn. I want to wave, but not hello.  I'm not feeling very 'hello.'

Now I just sit. Feel the time slip away, lost forever. On occasion I have started to laugh, that's pretty scary.  Being so mad you laugh is a toe into real madness. A tiny push could push you over.  If it ever happens to you, clear your head of stressful thoughts; taxes, snow in your shoes, finding your glasses by stepping on them... they could be all the nudge you need and if you're stuck in traffic and you start laughing, you don't need any nudges.

Gotta go. I have to go park my car on 94 for a few hours.