Updated: 12/25/2008 1:32 PM KSTP.com | Print Story
By: Tim Sherno

SHERNO: A Christmas tree, a Christmas tree

This is the kind of Christmas tree we choose for our home.  We like the old style tree lots. The kind with the bare light bulbs strung up over the trees. We wonder around looking for a lonely little tree that needs a family. Short. Squat. Sure they're easy to load on the car, and easy to carry into the house...but that's not why. No matter how scraggly the tree, they always look great on Christmas morning, with lights and ornaments and presents around the bottom. Little trees. Some might call 'em ugly, but we don't. And now I have proof, because I've found truly ugly trees.

Here's one. At first glance, it looks normal enough. Maybe a little too perfect. Certainly perfect for college students...over 21, of course. The bad thing about this tree... one bump and you're sweeping up broken glass. Merry Christmas. And while this tree is pretty bad... it's not the worst.

This is by far the ugliest tree.

 Could there be anything more un-natural than a pink Christmas tree? I don't think so. (and if you have one, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, and I'm also just sorry that you have a pink a pink Christmas tree.) Look, I lived in Florida for 6 year, and in Florida they do strange things to Christmas trees. We have a family friend who has 7 trees in their house, one of them has a little machine that pumps tiny styrofoam pellets up the trunk and out a nozzle at the top... the effect is supposed to look like snow. Guess what. It doesn't. But at least it's green.

Final thought. Have any tree you like that makes you happy. Pink. Purple and Gold. Doesn't matter. Everyone gets to choose the one they like --little short squat trees, or pink trees. If it puts the Merry in Merry Christmas for you, what more can you ask for this time year.

*I used Charlie Brown but don't have some kind of 'trademark' on the picture. If that's not legal, I'm sorry about that, too.